English of Gujrat

EXPRESSION NOT THE LANGUAGE
In a hotel in Ahmedabad:
It Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read this notice.**
In a hotel lobby in Surat:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.(Surat, the city of language obscenity)**
In the elevator in Hotel Tex Pallazo, Surat:
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter More persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is Then going alphabetically by national order. **

In a hotel elevator in Baroda:
Please leave your values at the front desk.**
In a hotel in Jamnagar:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. Daily.**
In a hotel near Gujarat College, Ahmedabad:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.**
Edwards Laundry on Relief Road, Ahmedabad:
Drop your trousers here for best results.**
In a hotel in Bhavanagar:
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the Bedroom, it is rekvested that the lobby be used for this purpose.**
In a laundry in Anand:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.**
In a heritage hotel in Junagadh:
Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages.**
Advertisement for donkey rides (on the famous white asses) in Rann of Kutch:
Would you like to ride on your own ass?**
In a 5-Star Hotel cocktail lounge in Ahmedabad:
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.**
In the office of a Gynecologist in Ahmedabad:
Specialist in women and other diseases.**
In a hotel in Bharuch:
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.